Sakura bashing parody
by Ika-Sophie
Summary: Not to be taken seriously. If you hate Sakura you might actually like this. I've been informed there's no bashing going on. It's more of a Sakura overreacts and gets punished for it by karma.


_**Sakura bashing parody. **_

_**To be honest, I don't really like Sakura, but the bashing is a little ridiculous. **_

_**Honestly I think this tones it down.**_

_**I'm just posting all my crappy half-parodies so I can get to the 6000 words needed to become a beta. **_

_**It's basically me just making fun of everything without using humour. **_

_**Great.**_

_**Edit: I thought I had made this clear, but obviously not. This is a parody. I am intentionally writing this like I have no idea what I'm doing. **_

_**The grammatical mistakes are intentional. I am trying to copy the style of the writers who bash Sakura. **_

_**I'm not saying all Sakura bashers are unintelligent. Some of them just don't know how to write a story. **_

_**As for why I don't post my more serious stories, they're all smut. **_

_**They would be taken off the site in a flash. **_

_**I suffer from writer's block, so I'm better at looking over others work, or writing porn. **_

"Go fish."

"..."

"Naruto! You baka! We're playing snap!"

Sasuke had a headache. It was 27oc/80.6F and Sakura was driving him crazy. Kakashi was late as usual so the pink haired girl decided she wanted to try something "different". He wasn't sure at the time, but he thought that sounded pretty foreboding.

He was right.

"But Sakura-chan!" Naruto whined, pouting in an attempt to plead with the pink menace. Sasuke hoped that the dobe would never make that face again. It had to be bad for his health.

"No buts! We are playing snap and you are _going to like it_."

Naruto visibly gulped and nodded his head in such a way that made Sasuke think his head might snap off of his neck.

"Isn't that right Sasuke-kun?" She purred in what she must have thought to be an attractive manner and proceeded to invade his personal space.

"Hn."

"So cool!" Sakura fangirled, giggling and playing with her hair.

"I thought we were playing snap." Muttered Naruto, after this had gone on for a few minutes. He obviously hadn't learned his lesson.

"_**NARUTO!" **_Sakura screeched, punching him halfway across the village. Sasuke blinked. That _had_ to have broken a record or something.

Meanwhile in a bar on the outskirts of Hi no kuni, a blonde woman felt oddly threatened.

"Shizune! We're leaving!" The busty lady called to another, while finishing her last drink.

In another bar, far away from the last, a white haired man felt unusually sympathetic.

"Some poor kid must have upset a kunoichi." He muttered, before ordering some ramen. He had a feeling it was the right thing to do in the situation.

Inside the seal, Kyuubi was getting annoyed. He had been trying to rest, but _no, _the pink banshee_ had _to interrupt his sleep and send his container flying while at it.

Kurama felt it was time for some justice.

Odd. Thought Sakura, looking at a crate of apples.

'I could have sworn I just saw a fox.' Sakura shook the thought away. After all, how could a fox get into a marketplace without being noticed?

She would forget about the incident entirely.

The Kyuubi was cackling gleefully. He had managed to _persuade_ his container to let him outside for a bit. It wasn't as hard as he thought it would be, all he had to do was mention the witch and he was all for it.

'Not that he knows what I'm planning...'

Once Sakura got home, she started to feel strange. Her nose was itching like crazy and she couldn't help but scratch. She heard a gasp and the sound of plates smashing from behind her.

"S-Sakura what happened to your nose?" The pink haired girl turned round to see her mother.

"What do you mean? My nose is fine?" The last statement came out more of a question than anything.

"Y-your nose! Look in the mirror!" Confused, Sakura quickly found her pocket mirror and opening it, shrieked. Her nose was growing!

"What's happening to me!? Kyaaaaa!"

All that could be heard that day was a young girls screams and a strange, not-quite-human laugh that sent shivers though everyone's spines.

'I still don't know where they went.' Thought a glum looking Kakashi. He decided he would be a little less late tomorrow. After all, he wouldn't want his cute little genin to stop waiting for him, would he?


End file.
